Thousands Feared Missing In Japan?

    As the scope of the devastation in Japan begins to be realized, Yahoo! was nice enough to provide us with the headline "Thousands Feared Missing In Japan".  What does that even mean?  We can't account for thousands of people...they aren't missing, we just don't know where they are.  We're worried  that they could be be missing.  We don't want to start jumping to conclusions in this time of hightened tension.  Maybe there's a Japanese tradition that after a massive natural disaster, a quarter of the country gets to go on vacation via some high tech transportation that we don't know about. It may be best to wait it out and decide if they're missing when when we actually find them.

    The number of passenger trains unaccounted for is now between 4-7.  I know theres a lot going on, but I thought they might be able to narrow down the number of entire passenger trains that disappeared.  I guess this report is better than an unknown number of Japanese islands missing.  Had this happened in a third world country, where the guesstimates of the population of livestock is unquestionably more accurate than the population of people, the confusion would be much more understandable: 

"We  believe there were between 35,000 - 180,000 people living in the capital city based on the 21,000,000 votes cast there in the most recent unanimous election of our supreme leader. However many people were there, they're all gone now.  We did, however, account for 40 of the 90 cows, 13 of the 70 pigs, and 17 of the 48 chickens. 

BREAKING NEWS!  My sources from the next village over have just sent word via smoke signals that 2 of the 5 automobiles in the province have been accounted for.  However, the one that works and the parts car for the one that works are among the three still missing, along with the only sorcerer that can speak to the spirits that make them run.  And... yes, this report has just been corroborated by both carrier pigeon and the shaman's hallucinogenic drug induced reading of the bones he throws into a pile while screaming gibberish.

The army's mobilization has been hindered by a broken ox yoke and the 8 passenger transport cart's inability to keep its wheels moving through the mud.  Relief efforts have been ineffective, as it is now becoming apparent that these particular flood waters are resistant to the rocks being thrown at them and the hand woven stick witches that we have been hanging from the trees to scare them away.  

Thankfully, all hope is not lost at this point.  I've just received word via the emergency broadcast conch shell horn, that the supreme ruler's newest illegitimate child has just been born with six toes.  This is, of course, a sign that the fall harvest will double this year, allowing over half of the population to not die of starvation this winter."